Enough!

Lately I have been attempting to live life without God, and boy I have never been so oblivious. I've settled in many ways, but above all else, clinging to my flesh telling myself, "I'm fine where I am." Let me tell you something I've learned in the past six months while I've been hiding under a rock.

Life without God is like building a sand-castle on the shore. What you have built quickly fades away with the tides that flow in every few moments. Before you know it.. not only is your castle flattened completely but you're in quick sand trying not to sink, but the harder you fight it the more you fall within this hole. (Added the quick-sand idea to get my point across. No, the shore does not swallow you up.)

Life without God is no life at all. It is a nightmare. Fortunately I realized He had never left, I simply ignored Him. I PRAY that I never lose perspective again..

It's time for a revival in my heart.

Not my own strength..

The battle is not over, in fact, it has only just begun. The agonizing torment can already be heard throughout the battlefield as Jeremy seems to be falling to his knees, weakened by what feels to be a thousand fiery darts weighing him down. His sword would be found laying a good twenty feet behind him. His armor has been found broken and left in the mud; lost. Tears now fall from his eyes as defeat is on the horizon. Where is your God now?! He has betrayed you! Him and all of your friends and family. Where is the love that you so desire? You're nothing. You always have been nothing, and you always will be nothing! No wife. No children. No friends. No God. You have been defeated. His body tightened and fists were made as he heard someone's prayer flow gently with the wind that held its' own against the opposing rainfall. Suddenly, Jeremy's sword had appeared in his hands as if he had it all along. With difficulty he raised his broken body up and stuck the sword in the mud, using it as a cane in attempt to stand. No avail. Jeremy found himself continuing to falling back into the mud and the muck.. Which seemed to be much more muck than mud at this point. "Oh Strength, where art thou? My flesh is weak. My faith is shaken. I cannot win this alone.. Help me, O' Lord.. lest I find myelf engulfed in this darkness; lost forever."

From the vapor I no longer desire.

Oh strength, where art thou? Have I hidden from you once again? Lead me not astray O' Lord.. but into thine hands alone. For whom else can I trust but thee? The flesh has betrayed me, O' Lord my God. Thine hands alone protect me from things that will soon perish. From the vapor I look up at you and see your wounds. From the vapor I look up and see your glory. Let it cast down onto me so that I may spread it like wildfire. As your glory is infinite let it be casts through the finite to overwhelm the perishing. Let your might shine through me so I may be as bold as a mountain; unshakeable and immovable. Let your glory shine through this armor you've given me, let my shield not only defend but deflect light against the enemy as the sword of the spirit is thrust downwards to destroy evil and its deception. I am a child of God, but a warrior I will forever stand beside my King Jesus. Let it be known that not it is not my own strength that carries this armor or weaponry. Let it be known that it is not my own will that first desired Him. But it is He that first desired me, therefore I stand amongst you, my brethren in arms against the evil one for the glory of Yahweh.

You'd think I'd have something to post by now.. Every day I've sat for at least an hour typing up a few lines and then backspacing. Ultimately giving up.. A lot of things are up in the air for me right now so it's proven difficult to grab ahold of one thing and focus on it. Admittedly most of what makes me busy is thinking about my next move. Including worrying about it.. I wonder when I'll stop worrying about things and just live. I guess I can be pretty indecicive sometimes, as well as stubborn. Bad combination is bad. Oh well, for now I will wait until I have a clear view of every thing. For the most part I can say; I'm happy. Nervous for the future, absolutely. Worried of the outcome, absolutely. Wishing I'd stop worrying, quite. Is God still good? Without a doubt.

All for you my King

My fellow followers in Jesus,


I want to thank you for spending any time at all on my blog. For almost an entire month I've been eager to blog. Eager to just share my heart with you. But every time I hit the notepad I just go blank. I want to share my life with you but I go blank. Why is this? Writers block, per chance? Well no more! Tonight I give you my profession of faith. My resolution. Who says you need a new year to have a resolution? Just as we are to thank God not only on Thanksgiving but every moment we can.. Daily I believe we are to surrender to Jesus to ''Take the wheel'' if you will. So I do this now in respect to a song that I've recently listened to that just opens my heart in a whole new way. Without keeping you any further, read these lyrics.

I'll lay it out for all to see
What You my God have done for me.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhhh.

I got my heart on my sleeve
No lies in between
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing
Yeahhh
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Yeahh

Here it is, inside out
All will know what I'm about.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhh.

I won't deny what You have done.
You are my saving One.
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Ohh I'm gonna sing.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.
Ohhh-oh-ohhh.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
I'm gonna sing

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And here it is by Chris August: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGcfHBLlmZg
____________________________________________________

There is a back-beat, be warned. But seriously? I challenge any one to hear to song completely and still tell me that it's evil.

So that's just it! Don't you hear the beauty? Don't you see how you just can't help but to smile while listening to these lyrics?
This is my profession.
My extra resolution.

I'm GOING to sing.
I'm GOING to dance.
I'm GOING to praise You like I've never had the chance.
And so on!

All for you my King.

The fire has been set loose. Christ will spread like wildfire through my life. Not because of what I do, but what God does through me. Praise God if I'm convicted enough to be a Christian. There is no better calling in life but to give glory to the name of Jesus Christ. Do you realize what He's done for me?
Do you realize what He's done for YOU? This is incredible. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JESUS HERE!

When's the last time you sang about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you danced about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you just declared the name of Jesus as ruler of your life to an unbeliever?
When's the last time you gave up your own desires just to prove your loyalty and love for Jesus? Even if there was nothing wrong with what you gave up!
When's the last time your prayer was ENTIRELY about thanking Jesus?

I'm talking to me, first.
O' Lord.. I am so undone.
To even think about why you've sent Jesus to die for me.. just baffles me.
O' Lord.. You are worthy. You are worthy.
Thank you..
Thank you for your Son.
Thank you for my friends and family.
Thank you for my future wife and family.
Thank you for Your blood which was spilled for me.

All for you my King.

Amen.

I haven't done much study on the student which you'll find out who at the end, but this is a pretty interesting conversation.

____________________________________

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.


By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.
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Incredible.

Jesus ALONE.

God has set a fire in my soul. His fire has set my engines on high, full throttle ahead! But what happens in a month or two is I burn out. I start to slow down in what seems to be quicksand. No matter what I do it seems like I have no more energy, no more oil or gas to burn. I'm..exhausted. Somewhat like what happened to me tonight. I was headed to a dinner gathering to see Jonathon Adams and a few other friends. About 25 miles later I start getting lost because of all the construction. All the traffic as well, and all the stop lights.. My car starts to overheat. Now this is a known problem and I'm aware I need to get it fixed. But it's gotten so bad that I can't drive it anymore until I get it fixed. But here's my point, I start overheating because my radiator fan doesn't work. So how it works(until I get it fixed) is.. when I'm driving the wind moves the fan to cool my radiator, which has coolant in it to cool my engine as it runs. That being said, I can only sit at so many stop lights before it overheats from the fan not cooling it off. Well, as I guessed from all the traffic I start seeing smoke from under my hood. Next thing I know I'm on the side of the road calling the guys that I'll be a little late. As per car if one thing doesn't work it generally effects another dependent. As I guessed, it overheated so bad my radiator started to leak. Now It doesn't hold coolant! No coolant means I can only go so far before the engine will need more coolant to keep it steady and cool. Well without it, the engine will lock up to prevent it from setting itself on fire. Do you see the resemblance? It's subtle, but it's there. The connection is that without proper upkeep to the car things go wrong and one thing leads to another, next thing you know you're burnt out on the side of the road - Without Jesus and his Holy Word to sustain your walk with Him, without that daily upkeep, you're going to burn out. So what do I do? I rest in the world instead of in Him.. I sit at my computer and resort to entertainment. What I'm good at; passivity. Why is it that every other month or so this happens? I need to find a balance.. this isn't a race, but it is a marathon. I keep thinking I need to be this.. Super Christian when in reality I just need to look to Jesus and Him alone. Not to any other man.
While we have some Christians out there who promote a system and formula to the bible which scares me because I see no love in that. I believe scripture teaches us many things, but not to live life in such a system where if you don't follow the perfect-way-of-life; you're an outcast.
Then there are Christians who are so half-hearted that their belief is an unrepentant passivity to life now that they're saved.

A lot of what I've come to believe over the years have actually turned out to be questionable. I don't want to choose one side because it's easier, or another side because it's safer.
I want to follow Jesus. Because where there is Jesus, there is grace. There is love. Hope, faith, joy, absolute and perfect peace.
I've come to the point where I'm testing every thing I've come to know with scripture. As I should! But at the same time.. I'm also a bit lost on what I believe. My foundation is on Jesus, but what about the details? I want to spread the good news of Jesus but I also want to be ready of the questions that come with spreading that good news.

Unfortunately I'm back to basics on what I believe.
Fortunately what I DO know is one thing.
My foundation is this: Jesus died on the cross for my sins. He paid the ultimate sacrifice I could not.
Okay, so that's a good foundation. But where's my identity? It's in Christ but.. how do I act? What am I supposed to portray?
Just that: JESUS!
To love others just as Jesus loved me.
Any farther than that.. I'm at a loss. Even though the prior notes are an amazing comfort.. every thing else concerning what I believe will need to be studied and tested with scripture. I have a long walk ahead of me. This will be no easy task, and God doesn't promise an easy, comfortable journey. But He does promise to walk me through it. You know I read this passage lately and It just jumped out at me. No matter what belief system that's thrown my way, this scripture is very comforting.

Romans 8:37-39.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No more preachers taking scripture out of context.
No more sermons that lead me astray.
Take the world and give me Jesus.
O' Lord, show me the way the truth and the light. And only by you shall I stand.