So here's a scramble of my current thoughts.
The fourth of July.
2015.
Half the year has already passed.
Have I progressed in this time?
When people see me, do they see Jesus?
Sometimes small talk annoys me. I wish we can just skip to what's truly on our hearts.
If she only knew how I truly feel.
If only there was a chance to reveal it without ruining anything.
Bah. I can't.
She's perfect, and I'm--
Self conscious.
Not first class.
Not enough.
Not talented.
But one can daydream.
Do I pursue Christ more?
These chips are great.
Another hour and I head back to my truck to prepare for the following work-month. A lot has changed since my last blog post.
"Oh hey blog, I'm a trucker now." -highfive-
For years I've had a large portion of my heart in awe of God's creation. Nature. Animals. Vistas. Traveling. These are all good things-but I was in error. These were excuses to hide my true intention. I even fooled myself. I was trying to fill a void that only One can. I don't know if that 'thing' has a name. Maybe it's validation that I didn't waste my life. Maybe it's excitement that my life has something to offer to a companion.
Vanity.
Excuses.
Lies.
I realize now that I was pursuing life. I wanted to have something to show for, and something to speak about to others. Something exciting and having worth. Sometimes having a quiet and peaceful life sounds boring. But what if it is? Though I have repented of this and no longer have this perspective; So what if this life doesn't seem fulfilling? What does this world, and even that which God has created, give me?
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How deceiving.
I pursue Jesus.
Creator and not the created.
On that rock I will stand forever.
Oh, and P.S.
I'll try and post more. This post wasn't all that informational. But I promised myself I'd update it.
To those that still read this blog: Stay focused. Stay vigilant. Remain in Him and do not fear.
