I was wrong.

Into the Wild

A lot of folks have noticed me disappearing quite a bit lately. Some would say I'm busy. Most probably just think I'm inconsistant and therefore spiritually immature. Maybe this is true, but I don't entirely agree just yet. The only people who read this, are one or two people that go to First Baptist of Las Colinas. To them I say: I miss you dearly. I think about both of you for hours at a time every single day. Probably one of you more than I should be.  But I don't like the idea of being in a congregation where it's forbidden to think about another person of interest more than two seconds. I don't show up because I don't want any influence clouding my judgement on what's real and what isn't. On what's true and what's false. Sometimes I feel like I'm being brainwashed otherwise. Plus I always have to answer, "Where have you been?" and "How have you been?"

Well. I've been at home. And I've been very confused about a lot of things. I'm upset. Lonely. Frustrated. Annoyed. Paranoid. Worried. I can let them into my head and tell them every thing about ''How I have been" but no one wants to hear that. And if I do tell them, then I need to explain it all and I'm given solutions to fix myself.

NO!
I just need time.
And if I'm called out as inconsistent because I choose to not wear a mask and say, "I'm great, how are you?" -- Then so be it. I'm inconsistent.

Lately I've desired living off the grid where I don't feel poisoned by society or this world's influence of hatefulness and judgement towards each other. An influence that imposes and hovers. An influence that tells me who I am, what I'm worth, and within a society that shows nothing but judgement towards each other.  I mean.. why are we so hateful towards each other? I'd rather join a hippie congregation where we genuinely care for one another and at the same time aren't being titled as a bible thumping, brainwashing, judgmental, righteous person. Of course that's not what I am, but that's how the world sees us. That's how the world views Christians.

Am I in the wrong for wanting peace and love, as cliche as it sounds?

It brings me to tears on a daily basis being shoved into politics where I have to choose sides or religious views where I'm being told what to believe or I'm off to hell.  If I pick the wrong side I'm hated by the world. If I pick the RIGHT side, I'm hated by the other half of the world.

I don't like conflict. And I believe in Jesus. I know the bible tells me I'll be persecuted for His names sake, but it kills me inside every time I'm tagged as self-righteous and judgmental. I don't like conflict.. and being a Christian CAUSES conflict. So maybe I will stick to the only truths I know for sure, for now.

I have a long road ahead of me. A road full of different cultures and endless changing horizons to fulfill an adventurous spirit.


There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
There is a rapture on the lonely shores;
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more...
- Lord Byron

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IN CHRIST

Today I've started listening to a sermon series about my identity and just who exactly I am. There are a few things that really threw itself out at me that I don't think I've fully understood yet, but hope to. Soon I'll be making this blog comment-able for any kind of feedback you have for me. Edifying encouraged.

Who are the two most important people in history? What is your answer?
This can explain a lot about a person's perspective on life. The first, most common and most correct answer is Jesus. So that's one.

1. Jesus

But who is the second? Some would say God. Others would say Lincoln. Some would even go as far as saying themselves. My answer was: "I honestly don't know..."

2. Adam

The two names are the first and last ''Adam'' and revolves around the idea on where we belong under these two categories. 1 Corinthians 15:21-22 tells us: "For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive." We are born into the ''Adam'' category and need to be reborn spiritually in Christ.

Did you know that Paul writes about being ''In Christ'' no less than 216 times?
Did you know that the bible refers us to us as a Christian 3 times ?

This is such a huge difference! It really puts our minds to work and reconsider how we look at our own identity. Religion by today's definition is a set of beliefs that one or many follow. A lot of definitions according to google use the word ''Superhuman'' and I think that's not what I am at all.

Christian soulds like ''like Christ'' as if we're supposed to be as great as Jesus is. When it's really not about us at all. It's about Christ through us, or us ''In Christ''.  But it's difficult to explain all this to someone who seeks out arguments and likes to belittle and debate against those who follow Jesus. Even to someone who is neutral on the subject.. to explain all this could be overwelming. I know I was overwelmed about what to title myself and how to explain my relationship with Jesus for so long that I avoided the subject entirely for a long while. To be completely honest, that's half the reason why I'm going through this identity sermon series.

I've recently had some situations I put myself in where I would later question my identity. I would say to myself, "Who am I?" and I really didn't have an answer for myself. I was doing things that was out of the normal for me to do. Losing myself in a darker part of the world that others would question a ''Christian'' being. For years I would tell myself and others it's simply a mask to fit in because I wasn't a good debator on Christian related beliefs and how I know them to be true. It's only until about a day ago did I realize that these masks are lies.. that they aren't masks, it's me. It's my flesh in all its sinful nature coming about to take over when during and after situations I would often question myself why I would let it happen.

My flesh wants to be accepted in this world. This is straight from satan. Remember what he said to Adam and Eve? He told them about how they would be like God as if what he gave them wasn't enough. When God made them in the image and likeness of Himself already, satan plays deceit in a way that sounds ramfication-free.

I, Jeremy Reynolds, am a fool to believe this lie. But Philippians 1:6 tells me "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Which someone reminded me today at church. This reminder really helped me.

I am saved.
I am new.
I am adopted.
I am loved.
I am forgiven.
I am reconciled.
I am blessed.
I am gifted.
I am heard.
I am appreciated.
I am in Christ.

Next time I will go over what it means to be in Christ. Tomorrow I will spend the evening with a special brother of mine whom I love and respect more than most. I hope then he will help me repent and cry out to God for forgiveness.

For the longest time I was afraid to go to church due to my inconsistancy and how I was ashamed of falling so much. But now I realize that this is my walk with Jesus. There's no such thing as getting to a perfect spot and staying the same for the rest of my life. Being ''In Christ'' (As my new title) is an eternal walk with Him that will teach me new life lessons as I go. It's not being saved, fixing myself, then going to church for the rest of my life and hopefully go to heaven afterwards. The ''fixing'' never stops until we are perfected in the day Jesus Christ returns. ...and even then there will be an eternity of learning about God as we delight in His presence and glorify God.

I'm getting carried away.. but my point is I don't like other people seeing me while I'm down. To those that even read this, know that I am truly sorry for not being a great example of a godly man. But once again as Philippians 1:6 reminds me that I am not finished... I pray to at least have my heart on Jesus until then.

Enough!

Lately I have been attempting to live life without God, and boy I have never been so oblivious. I've settled in many ways, but above all else, clinging to my flesh telling myself, "I'm fine where I am." Let me tell you something I've learned in the past six months while I've been hiding under a rock.

Life without God is like building a sand-castle on the shore. What you have built quickly fades away with the tides that flow in every few moments. Before you know it.. not only is your castle flattened completely but you're in quick sand trying not to sink, but the harder you fight it the more you fall within this hole. (Added the quick-sand idea to get my point across. No, the shore does not swallow you up.)

Life without God is no life at all. It is a nightmare. Fortunately I realized He had never left, I simply ignored Him. I PRAY that I never lose perspective again..

It's time for a revival in my heart.