Jesus ALONE.

God has set a fire in my soul. His fire has set my engines on high, full throttle ahead! But what happens in a month or two is I burn out. I start to slow down in what seems to be quicksand. No matter what I do it seems like I have no more energy, no more oil or gas to burn. I'm..exhausted. Somewhat like what happened to me tonight. I was headed to a dinner gathering to see Jonathon Adams and a few other friends. About 25 miles later I start getting lost because of all the construction. All the traffic as well, and all the stop lights.. My car starts to overheat. Now this is a known problem and I'm aware I need to get it fixed. But it's gotten so bad that I can't drive it anymore until I get it fixed. But here's my point, I start overheating because my radiator fan doesn't work. So how it works(until I get it fixed) is.. when I'm driving the wind moves the fan to cool my radiator, which has coolant in it to cool my engine as it runs. That being said, I can only sit at so many stop lights before it overheats from the fan not cooling it off. Well, as I guessed from all the traffic I start seeing smoke from under my hood. Next thing I know I'm on the side of the road calling the guys that I'll be a little late. As per car if one thing doesn't work it generally effects another dependent. As I guessed, it overheated so bad my radiator started to leak. Now It doesn't hold coolant! No coolant means I can only go so far before the engine will need more coolant to keep it steady and cool. Well without it, the engine will lock up to prevent it from setting itself on fire. Do you see the resemblance? It's subtle, but it's there. The connection is that without proper upkeep to the car things go wrong and one thing leads to another, next thing you know you're burnt out on the side of the road - Without Jesus and his Holy Word to sustain your walk with Him, without that daily upkeep, you're going to burn out. So what do I do? I rest in the world instead of in Him.. I sit at my computer and resort to entertainment. What I'm good at; passivity. Why is it that every other month or so this happens? I need to find a balance.. this isn't a race, but it is a marathon. I keep thinking I need to be this.. Super Christian when in reality I just need to look to Jesus and Him alone. Not to any other man.
While we have some Christians out there who promote a system and formula to the bible which scares me because I see no love in that. I believe scripture teaches us many things, but not to live life in such a system where if you don't follow the perfect-way-of-life; you're an outcast.
Then there are Christians who are so half-hearted that their belief is an unrepentant passivity to life now that they're saved.

A lot of what I've come to believe over the years have actually turned out to be questionable. I don't want to choose one side because it's easier, or another side because it's safer.
I want to follow Jesus. Because where there is Jesus, there is grace. There is love. Hope, faith, joy, absolute and perfect peace.
I've come to the point where I'm testing every thing I've come to know with scripture. As I should! But at the same time.. I'm also a bit lost on what I believe. My foundation is on Jesus, but what about the details? I want to spread the good news of Jesus but I also want to be ready of the questions that come with spreading that good news.

Unfortunately I'm back to basics on what I believe.
Fortunately what I DO know is one thing.
My foundation is this: Jesus died on the cross for my sins. He paid the ultimate sacrifice I could not.
Okay, so that's a good foundation. But where's my identity? It's in Christ but.. how do I act? What am I supposed to portray?
Just that: JESUS!
To love others just as Jesus loved me.
Any farther than that.. I'm at a loss. Even though the prior notes are an amazing comfort.. every thing else concerning what I believe will need to be studied and tested with scripture. I have a long walk ahead of me. This will be no easy task, and God doesn't promise an easy, comfortable journey. But He does promise to walk me through it. You know I read this passage lately and It just jumped out at me. No matter what belief system that's thrown my way, this scripture is very comforting.

Romans 8:37-39.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No more preachers taking scripture out of context.
No more sermons that lead me astray.
Take the world and give me Jesus.
O' Lord, show me the way the truth and the light. And only by you shall I stand.