From the vapor I no longer desire.

Oh strength, where art thou? Have I hidden from you once again? Lead me not astray O' Lord.. but into thine hands alone. For whom else can I trust but thee? The flesh has betrayed me, O' Lord my God. Thine hands alone protect me from things that will soon perish. From the vapor I look up at you and see your wounds. From the vapor I look up and see your glory. Let it cast down onto me so that I may spread it like wildfire. As your glory is infinite let it be casts through the finite to overwhelm the perishing. Let your might shine through me so I may be as bold as a mountain; unshakeable and immovable. Let your glory shine through this armor you've given me, let my shield not only defend but deflect light against the enemy as the sword of the spirit is thrust downwards to destroy evil and its deception. I am a child of God, but a warrior I will forever stand beside my King Jesus. Let it be known that not it is not my own strength that carries this armor or weaponry. Let it be known that it is not my own will that first desired Him. But it is He that first desired me, therefore I stand amongst you, my brethren in arms against the evil one for the glory of Yahweh.

You'd think I'd have something to post by now.. Every day I've sat for at least an hour typing up a few lines and then backspacing. Ultimately giving up.. A lot of things are up in the air for me right now so it's proven difficult to grab ahold of one thing and focus on it. Admittedly most of what makes me busy is thinking about my next move. Including worrying about it.. I wonder when I'll stop worrying about things and just live. I guess I can be pretty indecicive sometimes, as well as stubborn. Bad combination is bad. Oh well, for now I will wait until I have a clear view of every thing. For the most part I can say; I'm happy. Nervous for the future, absolutely. Worried of the outcome, absolutely. Wishing I'd stop worrying, quite. Is God still good? Without a doubt.

All for you my King

My fellow followers in Jesus,


I want to thank you for spending any time at all on my blog. For almost an entire month I've been eager to blog. Eager to just share my heart with you. But every time I hit the notepad I just go blank. I want to share my life with you but I go blank. Why is this? Writers block, per chance? Well no more! Tonight I give you my profession of faith. My resolution. Who says you need a new year to have a resolution? Just as we are to thank God not only on Thanksgiving but every moment we can.. Daily I believe we are to surrender to Jesus to ''Take the wheel'' if you will. So I do this now in respect to a song that I've recently listened to that just opens my heart in a whole new way. Without keeping you any further, read these lyrics.

I'll lay it out for all to see
What You my God have done for me.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhhh.

I got my heart on my sleeve
No lies in between
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing
Yeahhh
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Yeahh

Here it is, inside out
All will know what I'm about.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhh.

I won't deny what You have done.
You are my saving One.
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Ohh I'm gonna sing.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.
Ohhh-oh-ohhh.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
I'm gonna sing

____________________________________________________
And here it is by Chris August: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGcfHBLlmZg
____________________________________________________

There is a back-beat, be warned. But seriously? I challenge any one to hear to song completely and still tell me that it's evil.

So that's just it! Don't you hear the beauty? Don't you see how you just can't help but to smile while listening to these lyrics?
This is my profession.
My extra resolution.

I'm GOING to sing.
I'm GOING to dance.
I'm GOING to praise You like I've never had the chance.
And so on!

All for you my King.

The fire has been set loose. Christ will spread like wildfire through my life. Not because of what I do, but what God does through me. Praise God if I'm convicted enough to be a Christian. There is no better calling in life but to give glory to the name of Jesus Christ. Do you realize what He's done for me?
Do you realize what He's done for YOU? This is incredible. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JESUS HERE!

When's the last time you sang about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you danced about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you just declared the name of Jesus as ruler of your life to an unbeliever?
When's the last time you gave up your own desires just to prove your loyalty and love for Jesus? Even if there was nothing wrong with what you gave up!
When's the last time your prayer was ENTIRELY about thanking Jesus?

I'm talking to me, first.
O' Lord.. I am so undone.
To even think about why you've sent Jesus to die for me.. just baffles me.
O' Lord.. You are worthy. You are worthy.
Thank you..
Thank you for your Son.
Thank you for my friends and family.
Thank you for my future wife and family.
Thank you for Your blood which was spilled for me.

All for you my King.

Amen.

I haven't done much study on the student which you'll find out who at the end, but this is a pretty interesting conversation.

____________________________________

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.


By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.
_______________________________

Incredible.

Jesus ALONE.

God has set a fire in my soul. His fire has set my engines on high, full throttle ahead! But what happens in a month or two is I burn out. I start to slow down in what seems to be quicksand. No matter what I do it seems like I have no more energy, no more oil or gas to burn. I'm..exhausted. Somewhat like what happened to me tonight. I was headed to a dinner gathering to see Jonathon Adams and a few other friends. About 25 miles later I start getting lost because of all the construction. All the traffic as well, and all the stop lights.. My car starts to overheat. Now this is a known problem and I'm aware I need to get it fixed. But it's gotten so bad that I can't drive it anymore until I get it fixed. But here's my point, I start overheating because my radiator fan doesn't work. So how it works(until I get it fixed) is.. when I'm driving the wind moves the fan to cool my radiator, which has coolant in it to cool my engine as it runs. That being said, I can only sit at so many stop lights before it overheats from the fan not cooling it off. Well, as I guessed from all the traffic I start seeing smoke from under my hood. Next thing I know I'm on the side of the road calling the guys that I'll be a little late. As per car if one thing doesn't work it generally effects another dependent. As I guessed, it overheated so bad my radiator started to leak. Now It doesn't hold coolant! No coolant means I can only go so far before the engine will need more coolant to keep it steady and cool. Well without it, the engine will lock up to prevent it from setting itself on fire. Do you see the resemblance? It's subtle, but it's there. The connection is that without proper upkeep to the car things go wrong and one thing leads to another, next thing you know you're burnt out on the side of the road - Without Jesus and his Holy Word to sustain your walk with Him, without that daily upkeep, you're going to burn out. So what do I do? I rest in the world instead of in Him.. I sit at my computer and resort to entertainment. What I'm good at; passivity. Why is it that every other month or so this happens? I need to find a balance.. this isn't a race, but it is a marathon. I keep thinking I need to be this.. Super Christian when in reality I just need to look to Jesus and Him alone. Not to any other man.
While we have some Christians out there who promote a system and formula to the bible which scares me because I see no love in that. I believe scripture teaches us many things, but not to live life in such a system where if you don't follow the perfect-way-of-life; you're an outcast.
Then there are Christians who are so half-hearted that their belief is an unrepentant passivity to life now that they're saved.

A lot of what I've come to believe over the years have actually turned out to be questionable. I don't want to choose one side because it's easier, or another side because it's safer.
I want to follow Jesus. Because where there is Jesus, there is grace. There is love. Hope, faith, joy, absolute and perfect peace.
I've come to the point where I'm testing every thing I've come to know with scripture. As I should! But at the same time.. I'm also a bit lost on what I believe. My foundation is on Jesus, but what about the details? I want to spread the good news of Jesus but I also want to be ready of the questions that come with spreading that good news.

Unfortunately I'm back to basics on what I believe.
Fortunately what I DO know is one thing.
My foundation is this: Jesus died on the cross for my sins. He paid the ultimate sacrifice I could not.
Okay, so that's a good foundation. But where's my identity? It's in Christ but.. how do I act? What am I supposed to portray?
Just that: JESUS!
To love others just as Jesus loved me.
Any farther than that.. I'm at a loss. Even though the prior notes are an amazing comfort.. every thing else concerning what I believe will need to be studied and tested with scripture. I have a long walk ahead of me. This will be no easy task, and God doesn't promise an easy, comfortable journey. But He does promise to walk me through it. You know I read this passage lately and It just jumped out at me. No matter what belief system that's thrown my way, this scripture is very comforting.

Romans 8:37-39.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No more preachers taking scripture out of context.
No more sermons that lead me astray.
Take the world and give me Jesus.
O' Lord, show me the way the truth and the light. And only by you shall I stand.

His Creation; my desire.

Tell me.. what makes a lake beautiful? Why is it that we stand in awe of a big body of water? Or even a little pond? While a little pond or creek we find that underneath is a lot of mud and muck.
Is it.. the amount of movies that we see that implants an idea in our head that tells us this is a beautiful thing or that a sunset is a beautiful thing?
Is it the difference in land as one step is on gravel then the next your falling into water?
Is it the risk that you'll fall in?

.. Or is it God? That made beautiful things in this world..and just as he puts in every one of us a conscious that there's a higher power or how we already find moral values of right and wrong before it's taught to us? Is it God that put the idea in our heads that this earth is given to us as a temporary home.. But also as a place to explore!
Meant for us to see.
Meant for us to find.
Meant for us to SUBDUE.

A dragon isn't there to look pretty. It's there to show the fierceness of this world. Maybe even to defeat. Like a formation of the Blue Angels (United States Flight squadron) flying by your window, its' roar is like the thunderous clouds of a thousand trumpets next to you. It's powerful.
Just as a waterfall deep in the forest is meant to be seen.

I want to explore the world God has given to us. I want to capture it and share it to those like-minded who get joy from simply gazing at the stars at night and standing in awe of God's amazing creations.

Oh courage, where art thou?

You know you're starting to hit the bottom of the barrell when you find that the darkness doesn't scare you anymore. Not out of courage where your motivation or will is stronger than fear, but the fact that you're no longer scared of the darkness because you're a part of it.

Recovery.

Today I went to church for the first time in about a month. I was on medical leave from work for a few weeks but I feel like I didn't make Jesus a priority throughout the entire ordeal. I used it as an excuse to sit back and procrastinate about every thing that I was doing. Everything that I had to do. Every thing that needed to be done. I slowly started to feel like I was in quicksand. Every day I put things off I felt like I was digging even deeper into my little hole. The further I ran away from God the more guilty I felt. The further I ran away from the light the easier it was to stay there, even though the whole time in the back of my mind I knew.. I knew I needed to face the music.

Oh courage.. where art thou?

I don't know what's up ahead of me tomorrow or even in the next hour. What I do know is.. now that I'm climbing out of this whole I've dug for myself... I'm starting to see every thing a little different. For example today at work.. every thing was just so beautiful to me. The grass, the sky, the birds. The pond, every thing in my eyes sight just had an incredible flavor to it that I wanted to take a picture of it all. As I walked through the grass that I've walked through hundreds of times I felt my soul finally at peace. I felt comfort. I felt loved. Like an overflowing waterfall above me just pouring into me;. Overwelmed with peace.

There will be a day with no more tears. No more pain, no more fear. There will be a day where I'll see Jesus face to face and there will be no more hiding.

Help me O Lord, to fall in love with you once again. To renew my soul and take back the ground I've given to satan. Renew my heart and renew my mind. I no longer wish to desire things of my own but things of you.

One thing I have noticed about some blogs I read. They say little about themselves and more about Jesus. I really appreciate that in a person's character. That it's not about them.. it's about Him. I'm trying to learn this myself and most of my life it's been all about me, entertainment and more of me. Thank you to those who dedicate these blogs to Him, and not themselves. Your words mean a lot more to some people than you may realize.