Pursuit of happiness

So here's a scramble of my current thoughts.

Independence Day.

The fourth of July.

2015.

Half the year has already passed.

Have I progressed in this time?

When people see me, do they see Jesus?

Sometimes small talk annoys me. I wish we can just skip to what's truly on our hearts.

If she only knew how I truly feel.

If only there was a chance to reveal it without ruining anything.

Bah. I can't.

She's perfect, and I'm--

Self conscious.

Not first class.

Not enough.

Not talented.

But one can daydream. 

Do I pursue Christ more?

These chips are great.

Another hour and I head back to my truck to prepare for the following work-month. A lot has changed since my last blog post. 

"Oh hey blog, I'm a trucker now." -highfive-

For years I've had a large portion of my heart in awe of God's creation. Nature. Animals. Vistas. Traveling. These are all good things-but I was in error. These were excuses to hide my true intention. I even fooled myself. I was trying to fill a void that only One can. I don't know if that 'thing' has a name. Maybe it's validation that I didn't waste my life. Maybe it's excitement that my life has something to offer to a companion. 

Vanity.

Excuses.

Lies.

I realize now that I was pursuing life. I wanted to have something to show for, and something to speak about to others. Something exciting and having worth. Sometimes having a quiet and peaceful life sounds boring. But what if it is? Though I have repented of this and no longer have this perspective; So what if this life doesn't seem fulfilling? What does this world, and even that which God has created, give me? 

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. 

How deceiving.

I pursue Jesus. 

Creator and not the created. 

On that rock I will stand forever.

Oh, and P.S.

  I'll try and post more. This post wasn't all that informational. But I promised myself I'd update it. 

 To those that still read this blog: Stay focused. Stay vigilant. Remain in Him and do not fear. 

"You're in a hurricane. Be still."

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

In the past 24 hours I've wept more than I have in the last 24 years. Though I do not claim my pain is equivalent to Job's, the pain of loss is certainly upon me.

Those that have read thus far know my troubles with inconsistency. As God continues to work in my life and strengthen me as I walk with Him, there are many untold praises about what He's done for me in this area. Not two weeks ago I was praying with a brother about my steadfast walk with Christ and how I do not desire to ''burn-out'' or give up when trials arrive.

20 "But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles."

God revealed to me that he was stabilizing me and that my prayers were heard. I rejoice in an answered prayer! ...And before you I knew it tribulation found me. You see, I came back to my childhood church for one reason. Love. I wanted to find a nice girl that wouldn't lie or break my heart and I thought I would have a better chance at church. I definitely found love, and that was the love of Jesus Christ. But the desire to be with someone remained. Years passed by and it never seemed like it was my turn to enjoy the blessing of a woman in my life romantically. This has remained one of the biggest desires of my heart to this very day. God, of course, knew this.

And so there she was. I found her. So modest, so kind, so perfect in my own eyes. Every thing I could ever possibly desire in a woman was manifested and became real. She had it all. Finally, it was my turn. Finally, here she was. I found daily confirmation from God (Perhaps) that she was the one for me. That this was truly God's plan for us. Daily I felt the desire to thank God, as He gave me the desires of my heart, even desires untold in prayer. He knew me. As we progressed in our relationship we found ourselves going faster than usual, but were very aware of this. And occasionally evaluated ourselves and our position with each other to keep our emotions in check. Unfortunately that wasn't enough.

Next thing you know, completely out of left field, my heart was shattered. Just like that. No warning, not even a door of hope. I wept like a baby, crying out to God, "Why?! None of this makes sense! Every thing was just so... perfect. Why, God, WHY?!" My very faith was shaken. I was ...this close..

It came to me the next day. The Holy Spirit had revealed to me my prayer about strengthening me with my inconsistency. IF ANYTHING was to change my position in Christ, IF ANYTHING was to sway me to compromise, IF ANYTHING was to win me over AWAY FROM GOD.

IT'S A WOMAN!

God knew this. And I suppose He skipped to the biggest and strongest lesson of them all. But I did not deny Him. My words hardly give this lesson justice, as hard as it actually is.

So, in closing, a prayer.

Father -- There are a lot of things I want to say. I want my voice to be heard. I want answers. I want her. So badly, do I want her. More than I can ever describe. But You, Father, are the Lord of my life. I feel as if this is not the end. I refuse to give up on her, no matter how easily she gave up on me. So as I choose to love her as You love us, even throughout our own rejection towards you, I declare that my own love not enough. Help me give her the distance she needs to figure things out. Help her realize that love is not an emotion felt, or a spark that MUST fly for it to be the one; that love is a choice. A choice to submit one's devotion, commitment, heart and soul, thick or thin, good or bad, poverty or wealth, no matter what. Help her to realize that feelings, infatuation and even romance comes and goes. That, love is something that one chooses to do. No matter the circumstances, as it is completely unconditional.  Remind her of the cross, and how we did not deserve such a sacrifice, but that You, God, so LOVED the world, that You GAVE.  Give me your love instead, so I can see her through your eyes. Give me your wisdom, O' God, so I may carry out your will in this and not my own. Give me your heart, Lord, so I may endure until the end.

A call to serve

O' God Almighty, my Father, who loves me beyond measurement. Daily I find myself at the edge of my capabilities and you gently remind me to rely on You. Even throughout my concern and wonder, throughout my struggle to give it all to You. Then I remember--You're not finished with me yet.

________________________

James has been on my heart for the past few weeks. It's strange how you can read something five or six times, even listen to sermons about it and completely miss what God has to tell you. I don't know if my heart wasn't ready for it or not, perhaps God had His perfect timing come into play, but something happened today.  

To give you an idea of what was on my mind, I've been struggling with my memory for, well, I think since I began my walk with Jesus. It seems I can easily remember something a friend said years ago, even in the correct tone, or so many lyrics from a multitude of songs. But when it comes to scripture or a sermon I hear it seems I go blank when it comes to applying it to my life. 

I can hear a two-hour sermon about how to act in a situation but when that situation comes to pass only moments later; I blank and jump to the natural worldly reaction as to fit in or not seem ''off''. I'm sitting in my car today just pondering what's wrong with my memory. Is it me? Genetics? Then I had a jolting idea (Perhaps from the Holy Spirit) to stop listening to sermons and read straight from scripture. Since I didn't have a bible on me I opened up my Bible Gateway app on my phone and jumped straight to James 1:1 and began reading.

It jumped at me. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped, thinking, "Of course!" 

James 1:22-25

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; 24 for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does."

For as long as I can remember I have only thought to better myself to become a better Christian. Even though that isn't a bad idea, it shouldn't be the only thing I work on! For example. I know someone who knows someone who knows someone... Who knows an elderly couple who is in great shape. They exercise daily. Someone once mentioned to them, "I truly admire your vitality." The elderly couple smiled at each other and one responded, "Exercise gives you vitality!"

I don't remember where I heard this, but I remember someone asking another how to shape their character into a more Christ-like character. The other responded, "Serving others develops that character in more ways than one." I think he's right. It teaches you to put others before yourself. Isn't that what love is? Isn't that what Jesus did for us? 

I truly think God is calling me to serve Him in a way I never have done before. I suppose.. that was the idea in the beginning, right? Well better late than never. I now desire to find something I can invest my time into and serve others so I can learn what it truly means to put others before myself. I've been so passive in my life! So much of a consumer. 

_______________________________

O' God-- How have you put up with me for so long?
Show me how I can serve.
Show me how I can avoid passiveness. 

I was blind.

But now I see.

_______________________________

Special prayer request: I've struggled a lot with my confidence in my salvation. There are times where I am certain, and then there are times where I think back to where scripture says, "Lord Lord, have we not cast out demons in your name-etc" And I worry. Because an eternity in torment just cries out ''PLEASE CONFIRM!"  Any one can have the knowledge of the bible. Even understand what it means, that doesn't mean they're In Christ. They can even put words together to sound like they know what they're talking about. That doesn't mean they have salvation. I beg of God to show me anything I am missing. I am His to mold. My life is His to take hold. Not I, but Christ in me. 

God, that's what I desire. Not I, but Christ in me.

Luke 15:11-32

O' God,

I have been absolutely ignorant towards your warnings and oblivious to your convictions. To the point where they even seem far from me to care. Once again I find myself finding out first hand what life is like without You, and I find myself falling back into Your arms with tears of regret. When will I learn?
__________________________

If it weren't for God's mercy upon me I would be long forgotten by now. I have never understood grace better than I do now, and yet I have never been farther away from understanding it, because I'd have given up on me along time ago. For those of you who haven't given up on me, you have my deepest gratitude. Although I would love to give you better news, I'm afraid I was wrong. I couldn't have been more incorrect. Would I have listened, though? Probably not.

I am inconsistent.

Somehow I find it easier to tackle larger objectives in my life that requires godly wisdom and prayer. Whether it's a job change or something crazy such as breaking down in the middle of no-where, no phone connection or any other way to contact any one. To me, that's a no brainer. But when it comes to daily walking with God like reading scripture every day or praying for someone, or even something as simple as being at church every Sunday and Wednesday; counting on me wouldn't be the wisest choice.

I acknowledge this as a problem in my life I need to work on.

It's time; yet again; to be found In Christ Jesus. After hitting what seemed to be "Rock Bottom" in my life it seems the only way to look is up. Lord willing, I will rebuild my credibility as a Christian and maybe one day help others to avoid making the stupid decisions I have made.

I was wrong.

Into the Wild

A lot of folks have noticed me disappearing quite a bit lately. Some would say I'm busy. Most probably just think I'm inconsistant and therefore spiritually immature. Maybe this is true, but I don't entirely agree just yet. The only people who read this, are one or two people that go to First Baptist of Las Colinas. To them I say: I miss you dearly. I think about both of you for hours at a time every single day. Probably one of you more than I should be.  But I don't like the idea of being in a congregation where it's forbidden to think about another person of interest more than two seconds. I don't show up because I don't want any influence clouding my judgement on what's real and what isn't. On what's true and what's false. Sometimes I feel like I'm being brainwashed otherwise. Plus I always have to answer, "Where have you been?" and "How have you been?"

Well. I've been at home. And I've been very confused about a lot of things. I'm upset. Lonely. Frustrated. Annoyed. Paranoid. Worried. I can let them into my head and tell them every thing about ''How I have been" but no one wants to hear that. And if I do tell them, then I need to explain it all and I'm given solutions to fix myself.

NO!
I just need time.
And if I'm called out as inconsistent because I choose to not wear a mask and say, "I'm great, how are you?" -- Then so be it. I'm inconsistent.

Lately I've desired living off the grid where I don't feel poisoned by society or this world's influence of hatefulness and judgement towards each other. An influence that imposes and hovers. An influence that tells me who I am, what I'm worth, and within a society that shows nothing but judgement towards each other.  I mean.. why are we so hateful towards each other? I'd rather join a hippie congregation where we genuinely care for one another and at the same time aren't being titled as a bible thumping, brainwashing, judgmental, righteous person. Of course that's not what I am, but that's how the world sees us. That's how the world views Christians.

Am I in the wrong for wanting peace and love, as cliche as it sounds?

It brings me to tears on a daily basis being shoved into politics where I have to choose sides or religious views where I'm being told what to believe or I'm off to hell.  If I pick the wrong side I'm hated by the world. If I pick the RIGHT side, I'm hated by the other half of the world.

I don't like conflict. And I believe in Jesus. I know the bible tells me I'll be persecuted for His names sake, but it kills me inside every time I'm tagged as self-righteous and judgmental. I don't like conflict.. and being a Christian CAUSES conflict. So maybe I will stick to the only truths I know for sure, for now.

I have a long road ahead of me. A road full of different cultures and endless changing horizons to fulfill an adventurous spirit.


There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
There is a rapture on the lonely shores;
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more...
- Lord Byron

Comments!

A quick update. You can now comment on this blog!

IN CHRIST

Today I've started listening to a sermon series about my identity and just who exactly I am. There are a few things that really threw itself out at me that I don't think I've fully understood yet, but hope to. Soon I'll be making this blog comment-able for any kind of feedback you have for me. Edifying encouraged.

Who are the two most important people in history? What is your answer?
This can explain a lot about a person's perspective on life. The first, most common and most correct answer is Jesus. So that's one.

1. Jesus

But who is the second? Some would say God. Others would say Lincoln. Some would even go as far as saying themselves. My answer was: "I honestly don't know..."

2. Adam

The two names are the first and last ''Adam'' and revolves around the idea on where we belong under these two categories. 1 Corinthians 15:21-22 tells us: "For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive." We are born into the ''Adam'' category and need to be reborn spiritually in Christ.

Did you know that Paul writes about being ''In Christ'' no less than 216 times?
Did you know that the bible refers us to us as a Christian 3 times ?

This is such a huge difference! It really puts our minds to work and reconsider how we look at our own identity. Religion by today's definition is a set of beliefs that one or many follow. A lot of definitions according to google use the word ''Superhuman'' and I think that's not what I am at all.

Christian soulds like ''like Christ'' as if we're supposed to be as great as Jesus is. When it's really not about us at all. It's about Christ through us, or us ''In Christ''.  But it's difficult to explain all this to someone who seeks out arguments and likes to belittle and debate against those who follow Jesus. Even to someone who is neutral on the subject.. to explain all this could be overwelming. I know I was overwelmed about what to title myself and how to explain my relationship with Jesus for so long that I avoided the subject entirely for a long while. To be completely honest, that's half the reason why I'm going through this identity sermon series.

I've recently had some situations I put myself in where I would later question my identity. I would say to myself, "Who am I?" and I really didn't have an answer for myself. I was doing things that was out of the normal for me to do. Losing myself in a darker part of the world that others would question a ''Christian'' being. For years I would tell myself and others it's simply a mask to fit in because I wasn't a good debator on Christian related beliefs and how I know them to be true. It's only until about a day ago did I realize that these masks are lies.. that they aren't masks, it's me. It's my flesh in all its sinful nature coming about to take over when during and after situations I would often question myself why I would let it happen.

My flesh wants to be accepted in this world. This is straight from satan. Remember what he said to Adam and Eve? He told them about how they would be like God as if what he gave them wasn't enough. When God made them in the image and likeness of Himself already, satan plays deceit in a way that sounds ramfication-free.

I, Jeremy Reynolds, am a fool to believe this lie. But Philippians 1:6 tells me "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Which someone reminded me today at church. This reminder really helped me.

I am saved.
I am new.
I am adopted.
I am loved.
I am forgiven.
I am reconciled.
I am blessed.
I am gifted.
I am heard.
I am appreciated.
I am in Christ.

Next time I will go over what it means to be in Christ. Tomorrow I will spend the evening with a special brother of mine whom I love and respect more than most. I hope then he will help me repent and cry out to God for forgiveness.

For the longest time I was afraid to go to church due to my inconsistancy and how I was ashamed of falling so much. But now I realize that this is my walk with Jesus. There's no such thing as getting to a perfect spot and staying the same for the rest of my life. Being ''In Christ'' (As my new title) is an eternal walk with Him that will teach me new life lessons as I go. It's not being saved, fixing myself, then going to church for the rest of my life and hopefully go to heaven afterwards. The ''fixing'' never stops until we are perfected in the day Jesus Christ returns. ...and even then there will be an eternity of learning about God as we delight in His presence and glorify God.

I'm getting carried away.. but my point is I don't like other people seeing me while I'm down. To those that even read this, know that I am truly sorry for not being a great example of a godly man. But once again as Philippians 1:6 reminds me that I am not finished... I pray to at least have my heart on Jesus until then.

Enough!

Lately I have been attempting to live life without God, and boy I have never been so oblivious. I've settled in many ways, but above all else, clinging to my flesh telling myself, "I'm fine where I am." Let me tell you something I've learned in the past six months while I've been hiding under a rock.

Life without God is like building a sand-castle on the shore. What you have built quickly fades away with the tides that flow in every few moments. Before you know it.. not only is your castle flattened completely but you're in quick sand trying not to sink, but the harder you fight it the more you fall within this hole. (Added the quick-sand idea to get my point across. No, the shore does not swallow you up.)

Life without God is no life at all. It is a nightmare. Fortunately I realized He had never left, I simply ignored Him. I PRAY that I never lose perspective again..

It's time for a revival in my heart.

Not my own strength..

The battle is not over, in fact, it has only just begun. The agonizing torment can already be heard throughout the battlefield as Jeremy seems to be falling to his knees, weakened by what feels to be a thousand fiery darts weighing him down. His sword would be found laying a good twenty feet behind him. His armor has been found broken and left in the mud; lost. Tears now fall from his eyes as defeat is on the horizon. Where is your God now?! He has betrayed you! Him and all of your friends and family. Where is the love that you so desire? You're nothing. You always have been nothing, and you always will be nothing! No wife. No children. No friends. No God. You have been defeated. His body tightened and fists were made as he heard someone's prayer flow gently with the wind that held its' own against the opposing rainfall. Suddenly, Jeremy's sword had appeared in his hands as if he had it all along. With difficulty he raised his broken body up and stuck the sword in the mud, using it as a cane in attempt to stand. No avail. Jeremy found himself continuing to falling back into the mud and the muck.. Which seemed to be much more muck than mud at this point. "Oh Strength, where art thou? My flesh is weak. My faith is shaken. I cannot win this alone.. Help me, O' Lord.. lest I find myelf engulfed in this darkness; lost forever."

From the vapor I no longer desire.

Oh strength, where art thou? Have I hidden from you once again? Lead me not astray O' Lord.. but into thine hands alone. For whom else can I trust but thee? The flesh has betrayed me, O' Lord my God. Thine hands alone protect me from things that will soon perish. From the vapor I look up at you and see your wounds. From the vapor I look up and see your glory. Let it cast down onto me so that I may spread it like wildfire. As your glory is infinite let it be casts through the finite to overwhelm the perishing. Let your might shine through me so I may be as bold as a mountain; unshakeable and immovable. Let your glory shine through this armor you've given me, let my shield not only defend but deflect light against the enemy as the sword of the spirit is thrust downwards to destroy evil and its deception. I am a child of God, but a warrior I will forever stand beside my King Jesus. Let it be known that not it is not my own strength that carries this armor or weaponry. Let it be known that it is not my own will that first desired Him. But it is He that first desired me, therefore I stand amongst you, my brethren in arms against the evil one for the glory of Yahweh.

You'd think I'd have something to post by now.. Every day I've sat for at least an hour typing up a few lines and then backspacing. Ultimately giving up.. A lot of things are up in the air for me right now so it's proven difficult to grab ahold of one thing and focus on it. Admittedly most of what makes me busy is thinking about my next move. Including worrying about it.. I wonder when I'll stop worrying about things and just live. I guess I can be pretty indecicive sometimes, as well as stubborn. Bad combination is bad. Oh well, for now I will wait until I have a clear view of every thing. For the most part I can say; I'm happy. Nervous for the future, absolutely. Worried of the outcome, absolutely. Wishing I'd stop worrying, quite. Is God still good? Without a doubt.

All for you my King

My fellow followers in Jesus,


I want to thank you for spending any time at all on my blog. For almost an entire month I've been eager to blog. Eager to just share my heart with you. But every time I hit the notepad I just go blank. I want to share my life with you but I go blank. Why is this? Writers block, per chance? Well no more! Tonight I give you my profession of faith. My resolution. Who says you need a new year to have a resolution? Just as we are to thank God not only on Thanksgiving but every moment we can.. Daily I believe we are to surrender to Jesus to ''Take the wheel'' if you will. So I do this now in respect to a song that I've recently listened to that just opens my heart in a whole new way. Without keeping you any further, read these lyrics.

I'll lay it out for all to see
What You my God have done for me.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhhh.

I got my heart on my sleeve
No lies in between
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing
Yeahhh
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Yeahh

Here it is, inside out
All will know what I'm about.
I'm not holding back now
Oh-ohhh.

I won't deny what You have done.
You are my saving One.
I'm not holding back

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Ohh I'm gonna sing.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.
Ohhh-oh-ohhh.

I will not be silent.
I'll become even more dignified than this.

I'm gonna sing
I'm gonna dance
I'm gonna praise You
Like I never had the chance.

And I'm gonna run
Like I've been set free
I'm gonna live
All for You my King.

Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
Oh I'm gonna sing.
I'm gonna sing

____________________________________________________
And here it is by Chris August: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGcfHBLlmZg
____________________________________________________

There is a back-beat, be warned. But seriously? I challenge any one to hear to song completely and still tell me that it's evil.

So that's just it! Don't you hear the beauty? Don't you see how you just can't help but to smile while listening to these lyrics?
This is my profession.
My extra resolution.

I'm GOING to sing.
I'm GOING to dance.
I'm GOING to praise You like I've never had the chance.
And so on!

All for you my King.

The fire has been set loose. Christ will spread like wildfire through my life. Not because of what I do, but what God does through me. Praise God if I'm convicted enough to be a Christian. There is no better calling in life but to give glory to the name of Jesus Christ. Do you realize what He's done for me?
Do you realize what He's done for YOU? This is incredible. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT JESUS HERE!

When's the last time you sang about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you danced about/for Jesus?
When's the last time you just declared the name of Jesus as ruler of your life to an unbeliever?
When's the last time you gave up your own desires just to prove your loyalty and love for Jesus? Even if there was nothing wrong with what you gave up!
When's the last time your prayer was ENTIRELY about thanking Jesus?

I'm talking to me, first.
O' Lord.. I am so undone.
To even think about why you've sent Jesus to die for me.. just baffles me.
O' Lord.. You are worthy. You are worthy.
Thank you..
Thank you for your Son.
Thank you for my friends and family.
Thank you for my future wife and family.
Thank you for Your blood which was spilled for me.

All for you my King.

Amen.

I haven't done much study on the student which you'll find out who at the end, but this is a pretty interesting conversation.

____________________________________

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.


By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.
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Incredible.

Jesus ALONE.

God has set a fire in my soul. His fire has set my engines on high, full throttle ahead! But what happens in a month or two is I burn out. I start to slow down in what seems to be quicksand. No matter what I do it seems like I have no more energy, no more oil or gas to burn. I'm..exhausted. Somewhat like what happened to me tonight. I was headed to a dinner gathering to see Jonathon Adams and a few other friends. About 25 miles later I start getting lost because of all the construction. All the traffic as well, and all the stop lights.. My car starts to overheat. Now this is a known problem and I'm aware I need to get it fixed. But it's gotten so bad that I can't drive it anymore until I get it fixed. But here's my point, I start overheating because my radiator fan doesn't work. So how it works(until I get it fixed) is.. when I'm driving the wind moves the fan to cool my radiator, which has coolant in it to cool my engine as it runs. That being said, I can only sit at so many stop lights before it overheats from the fan not cooling it off. Well, as I guessed from all the traffic I start seeing smoke from under my hood. Next thing I know I'm on the side of the road calling the guys that I'll be a little late. As per car if one thing doesn't work it generally effects another dependent. As I guessed, it overheated so bad my radiator started to leak. Now It doesn't hold coolant! No coolant means I can only go so far before the engine will need more coolant to keep it steady and cool. Well without it, the engine will lock up to prevent it from setting itself on fire. Do you see the resemblance? It's subtle, but it's there. The connection is that without proper upkeep to the car things go wrong and one thing leads to another, next thing you know you're burnt out on the side of the road - Without Jesus and his Holy Word to sustain your walk with Him, without that daily upkeep, you're going to burn out. So what do I do? I rest in the world instead of in Him.. I sit at my computer and resort to entertainment. What I'm good at; passivity. Why is it that every other month or so this happens? I need to find a balance.. this isn't a race, but it is a marathon. I keep thinking I need to be this.. Super Christian when in reality I just need to look to Jesus and Him alone. Not to any other man.
While we have some Christians out there who promote a system and formula to the bible which scares me because I see no love in that. I believe scripture teaches us many things, but not to live life in such a system where if you don't follow the perfect-way-of-life; you're an outcast.
Then there are Christians who are so half-hearted that their belief is an unrepentant passivity to life now that they're saved.

A lot of what I've come to believe over the years have actually turned out to be questionable. I don't want to choose one side because it's easier, or another side because it's safer.
I want to follow Jesus. Because where there is Jesus, there is grace. There is love. Hope, faith, joy, absolute and perfect peace.
I've come to the point where I'm testing every thing I've come to know with scripture. As I should! But at the same time.. I'm also a bit lost on what I believe. My foundation is on Jesus, but what about the details? I want to spread the good news of Jesus but I also want to be ready of the questions that come with spreading that good news.

Unfortunately I'm back to basics on what I believe.
Fortunately what I DO know is one thing.
My foundation is this: Jesus died on the cross for my sins. He paid the ultimate sacrifice I could not.
Okay, so that's a good foundation. But where's my identity? It's in Christ but.. how do I act? What am I supposed to portray?
Just that: JESUS!
To love others just as Jesus loved me.
Any farther than that.. I'm at a loss. Even though the prior notes are an amazing comfort.. every thing else concerning what I believe will need to be studied and tested with scripture. I have a long walk ahead of me. This will be no easy task, and God doesn't promise an easy, comfortable journey. But He does promise to walk me through it. You know I read this passage lately and It just jumped out at me. No matter what belief system that's thrown my way, this scripture is very comforting.

Romans 8:37-39.
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No more preachers taking scripture out of context.
No more sermons that lead me astray.
Take the world and give me Jesus.
O' Lord, show me the way the truth and the light. And only by you shall I stand.

His Creation; my desire.

Tell me.. what makes a lake beautiful? Why is it that we stand in awe of a big body of water? Or even a little pond? While a little pond or creek we find that underneath is a lot of mud and muck.
Is it.. the amount of movies that we see that implants an idea in our head that tells us this is a beautiful thing or that a sunset is a beautiful thing?
Is it the difference in land as one step is on gravel then the next your falling into water?
Is it the risk that you'll fall in?

.. Or is it God? That made beautiful things in this world..and just as he puts in every one of us a conscious that there's a higher power or how we already find moral values of right and wrong before it's taught to us? Is it God that put the idea in our heads that this earth is given to us as a temporary home.. But also as a place to explore!
Meant for us to see.
Meant for us to find.
Meant for us to SUBDUE.

A dragon isn't there to look pretty. It's there to show the fierceness of this world. Maybe even to defeat. Like a formation of the Blue Angels (United States Flight squadron) flying by your window, its' roar is like the thunderous clouds of a thousand trumpets next to you. It's powerful.
Just as a waterfall deep in the forest is meant to be seen.

I want to explore the world God has given to us. I want to capture it and share it to those like-minded who get joy from simply gazing at the stars at night and standing in awe of God's amazing creations.

Oh courage, where art thou?

You know you're starting to hit the bottom of the barrell when you find that the darkness doesn't scare you anymore. Not out of courage where your motivation or will is stronger than fear, but the fact that you're no longer scared of the darkness because you're a part of it.

Recovery.

Today I went to church for the first time in about a month. I was on medical leave from work for a few weeks but I feel like I didn't make Jesus a priority throughout the entire ordeal. I used it as an excuse to sit back and procrastinate about every thing that I was doing. Everything that I had to do. Every thing that needed to be done. I slowly started to feel like I was in quicksand. Every day I put things off I felt like I was digging even deeper into my little hole. The further I ran away from God the more guilty I felt. The further I ran away from the light the easier it was to stay there, even though the whole time in the back of my mind I knew.. I knew I needed to face the music.

Oh courage.. where art thou?

I don't know what's up ahead of me tomorrow or even in the next hour. What I do know is.. now that I'm climbing out of this whole I've dug for myself... I'm starting to see every thing a little different. For example today at work.. every thing was just so beautiful to me. The grass, the sky, the birds. The pond, every thing in my eyes sight just had an incredible flavor to it that I wanted to take a picture of it all. As I walked through the grass that I've walked through hundreds of times I felt my soul finally at peace. I felt comfort. I felt loved. Like an overflowing waterfall above me just pouring into me;. Overwelmed with peace.

There will be a day with no more tears. No more pain, no more fear. There will be a day where I'll see Jesus face to face and there will be no more hiding.

Help me O Lord, to fall in love with you once again. To renew my soul and take back the ground I've given to satan. Renew my heart and renew my mind. I no longer wish to desire things of my own but things of you.

One thing I have noticed about some blogs I read. They say little about themselves and more about Jesus. I really appreciate that in a person's character. That it's not about them.. it's about Him. I'm trying to learn this myself and most of my life it's been all about me, entertainment and more of me. Thank you to those who dedicate these blogs to Him, and not themselves. Your words mean a lot more to some people than you may realize.

O' Joy, where art thou?

Oh what joy it is to have a church you truly find joy in. I tell you.. I wouldn't give up my church for the world.
But what makes a church? Is it the building, playground, or excellent child care? Nay, it is the people.
The people make up the church. The people ARE the church. I don't think we say this enough, how important the church is.
The people at my church I consider family. My brothers, my sisters, my fathers and mothers all in Christ. There are a lot of people in my church who may not even realize just how much I love to have fellowship with. Some people I could just sit and talk with for hours about Jesus and spend even more hours praying.

Like today after Faith Bible Institute, Dennis, Faith, Grace and myself stood inside and prayed for a young mormon girl named Sydney. And you know what?
I BELIEVE she will come to Christ.
I BELIEVE Jesus will woo her.
I BELIEVE God will save His daughter.

The power of prayer is so incredible it's beyond any of our understanding why the God of the universe, nay, the CREATOR of the universe even cares about what we think or pray about. The more I get to know Jesus.. daily I find myself baffled by the great things He does for me. I am a sinner and when I wasn't even following He still provided for me. Come to think about it I haven't gone ONE SINGLE day without food or suppliment? By the grace of God and much respect for my mother.. Fatherless, growing up behind a computer screen looking for pleasures of the flesh and satisfaction. I never found it.. Finally, God pulled me out of that life. I found Jesus.. and now my life has completely turned around. Now I'm on my own two feet, paying my own bills, my own car.. I have a life now. And that's not because anything I've done aside from the work I put into it, but that He provided. And it's just that. HE provided it. He provided every thing out of complete grace. WOW. How AWESOME IS THAT?

Now and days I'm so worried about my career, my future wife, my future family... Future this, future that. What someone reminded me today was that I shouldn't be worried about the future. Thanks to Jesus my future is SET. Enjoy the present, and the future will come on it's own. Build this character now so that I wont bring it into marriage. To stop focusing on the blueprints and how the tower will look in the end and... just set one brick at a time.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

Those of you worried about something... a wise person once told me this and it always stuck with me. It's so simple, yet powerful. It's to not dwell on things that upset you. Simple right, but how powerful is that to keep with you day by day? How many times do you get upset, frustrated, or irritated? Don't dwell on it. In fact, REPLACE IT!

Replace it with a memory, a thought, an idea. Perhaps something funny.. like someone rolling into a pond.
You'd be surprised just how a simple smile can be contageous.
This life is.. merely a vapor. Enjoy it.. Christ offers so much joy. Have you even attempted to ask for it, or did you just get frustrated and blame Him?
I know I have. Let me ask you something.

Male or female.
When's the last time you had to control an impulse of just raising your hands in absolute joy to the Lord and shouting to thank Him?
Last time for me was on the way home tonight from FBI. Of course.. I had to drive so I couldn't exactly jump for joy or raise my Hands.
God saw my heart though.. Call me an oddball of a man to have such girly impulses. I think it's awesome.

3 hours later, 4 full posts deleted.

I give up on writing one tonight.
Maybe it's better off that way.

The Armor of God - Don't leave it in your closet.

All who are thirsty
All who are weak
Come to the fountain
Dip your heart in the stream of life
Let the pain and the sorrow
Be washed away
In the waves of his mercy
As deep cries out to deep - we sing;

Come Lord Jesus come.
Come LORD JESUS come!
COME LORD JESUS COME!
- All who are Thirsty by Kutless -

I don't usually quote songs, but this one spoke to me today as I fasted. And I noticed something. My ''fasting'' was more or less only a day, as a trial run. Next time I'll be more prepared for spiritual warfare. Boy, what a battle today..

On the outside was a BEAUTIFUL day, filled with a light smile as I patrolled on the Golf Cart. But on the inside roared with fiery arrows falling down on me, sword against sword clashing as my spiritual battle raged and the victory line pushed back and forth. Call me imaginative, but I truly believe that's what happened. God provided me armor of light, the Armor of GOD, for what? To hug myself to death in a mirror? No - My God gave me His armor, shield and sword because there is a battle to fight. And although the main war has already been won thanks to Jesus, my battle still rages on day by day until my savior returns. Come Lord Jesus, come...

I'm not ready to announce what battle I fought today, what lies were thrown my way or what was found inside my own heart, but it sure hit me to the core. It felt like.. Like I knew all the answers, yet I still managed to feel the effects of a lie even though I didn't believe it. Like knowing a wall isn't there, but still afraid of it being there as you walk into it. In turn you essentially making it real, and falling because of it. If that makes any sense at all... It's the reason why mothers wouldn't dare think of their children being hit by a car. They know it didn't happen, but the thought alone would drive you insane. That's what I felt today. Believing lies I knew weren't true. I rejoice, however. As I fasted today, kind of.. I didn't face challenges or battles I knew I could win, but rather I faced what MADE me lean on Jesus for strength. An issue I needed to work on instead of an issue I'm having great progress in.

God knows my heart, and when the fast ended with a nice slice of pizza (Praise God), the battle ceased. I realized what heart issue I needed to work on, and next time.. I'll be prepared for it. How, you ask?

The Lord God gives us this awesome manual for fighting these battles. How much more prepared can you get?

Ephesians 6:10-20 - ''Finally my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might, put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.


6:14 - Stand therefore, having girded your waste with truth.
(Girding up was a matter of pulling in the loose ends as preparation for battle. The belt that pulls all the spiritual loose ends in is ''truth'' or better, ''truthfulness'. The idea is of sincere commitment to fight and win without hypocrisy - self discipline in devotion to victory. Everything that hinders is tucked away.)

- having put on the breastplate of righteousness.
(As believers faithfully live in obedience to and communion with Jesus Christ, His own righteousness produces in them the practical, daily righteousness that becomes their spiritual breastplate.)

6:15 - and having shod your feet with preparation of the gospel of peace.
(It is that confidence of divine support which allows the believer to stand firm, knowing that since he is at peace with God, God is his strength.)

6:16 - above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.
(The believer's continual trust in God's word and promise is ''above all'' absolute necessary to protect him from temptations to every sort of sin.)

6:17 - And take the helmet of salvation.
(Although a Christian's feelings about his salvation may be seriously damaged by Satan-inspired doubt, his salvation itself is eternally protected and he need not fear it's loss. )

6:17 - and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.
(As the sword was the soldier's only weapon, so God's Word is the only needed weapon, infinitely more powerful than any of Satan's. It is the truth of scripture, in this case, provided as a weapon against Satan.)

'' - being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.
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I will be ready.
Mark my words, God is with me.